You Can't Go Home Again, But You Can Return to Pandaria

In six weeks, Mists of Pandaria Classic launches, and I'm excited to play it.

Not because I am overcome with nostalgia, a pure desire for the way things used to be.
Not because I am eager to relive my younger days by replaying my favorite expansion.
Not because I think Blizzard can bottle the same lightning twice.

I have changed — and so has the game. I know that.
This isn’t a return to the past, then. It’s something else entirely.

A Portrait of the Author as a Young Player

When Mists first launched, I was a very different player. A distinctly unsophisticated kind of player, to be exact.

I didn’t have sim tools. I didn't have character trackers or spreadsheets. I played mostly with the base UI. I didn't even really know what WeakAuras were, or that I could customize my interface to give me a better window of data from which to make decisions. I didn’t even really play more than one class — just a retribution paladin, content to hit things and hope for the best.

I think I did okay, but in hindsight, I don't really know.
I certainly didn't know then.

I didn’t challenge myself. But in fairness, I didn’t have space to. My life was chaotic – I was getting married in three months, I was taking a full-time course load in college, and I was holding down a full-time job. I played casually, with casual players.

And I had fun. I was blissful in my ignorance, unaware of what I was even missing.

That kind of innocence is gone now. Not in a bitter way — more like an old T-shirt, worn and faded, that has been gently retired. I know too much, about the game and how it works. I’ve peeked behind the curtain. I’ve seen what truly good players do, how they think, how they move. I’ve trained my epistemic and heuristic decision-making relative to the game. Learned how to be good, and to know that I’m good. I don't think I could play any other way.

And I like that. I like where I’ve ended up. I'm proud of the player I have become.

But still — sometimes, I can't help but wonder. What would it be like to forget it all? Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind away all the memories of what once was.

To wipe the slate clean. Start fresh. Experience World of Warcraft – not as a veteran player or analyst – but as a genuine newcomer, seeing the world for the first time.

Not to go back — but to go forward without the baggage of the past.

What Once Was, and What Could've Been

Picture a cinematic montage.

A young man, high school senior, quarterback of the football team. A real hometown hero. He leads his team to the state championship and heads off to college. He studies hard and plays harder, graduates, but does not make it into the pro leagues.

Undeterred, he settles into a regular life. He finds love, a wife, and has a family. He falls into an ordinary sort of career. He has what is, by all accounts, a totally normal life. Then he receives an invitation to his 20-year high school class reunion.

He returns to his old school. He wanders the halls, idly brushing his hands on the lockers, the voices of friends long separated by time echoing in his mind. He ambles through the weight room, feels the tickle in his nose of years of old sweat and stale funk, the grunts and clanks of exertion fresh in his ears. He meanders onto the football field, the feel of turf and glare of the lights, the roar of the crowds of long ago so real to him now.

He pauses on the 50-yard line, and closes his eyes.

One could easily lose oneself in such a moment – a reminder of what was, and what could have been. A legacy of potential, left unfulfilled. Our hero experiences a complicated mélange of emotions – happiness, regret, wistful imagination and what-ifs, and yes, some nostalgia. We despair for our hero, standing at 'the still point in a turning world,' the Lagrange Point of the Self. What will he do? What would you do?

And just as our anticipation reaches climax, a hand emerges from behind our hero. It is the hand of his wife and soulmate, come to rest tenderly on his shoulders. A gentle reminder of who he is, the man that the boy has become. An opportunity to remember that where you came from – the trajectory of life you once imagined was yours – is not the only path you can take.

So Why Go Back?

There is something transformative in walking those old paths again — not to retrace your steps, but to see where they have led you. To return, not as a wide-eyed hero chasing dreams of glory, but as someone who’s lived a little. Scarred a little. Grown a lot.

I won’t pretend this is the same game. It’s not.
And I’m certainly not the same player.

But that’s the point.

Stepping back into Pandaria feels a bit like wandering through a hometown you haven’t seen in years. You remember the peaks and valleys — the quests that stuck with you, the zones that felt like home, the characters that made them feel real. You touch the old textures of your memory with reverence. Smile at old mistakes. Mourn a little for what you missed.

And then — a moment of clarity.

Because this isn’t just a return.
It’s a reunion — with yourself.
And this time, you’re ready.

Pandaren Wisdom

I'd like to leave you with a final thought. As you wander through Pandaria, and interact with the many NPCs that inhabit that world, you will hear one line of dialogue spoken many times.

Slow down. Life is to be savored.

I always thought it ironic, the first time I played through that expansion. It's a piece of "canned dialogue," something for the game to say when you interact with an NPC, but not tied to what's going on around you. This meant that you could be in the middle of a raging battle, a burning village all around you, attempting to rescue one of them, and hear that line. Hilarious, yes?

But for a game that was entering it's fourth expansion, that had taught players how to become finely tuned min/max engines, it was a useful (if often unheeded) reminder.

To take a look around you.
To be present in the moment.
To appreciate your journey, not just fixate on your destination.